Day 8…
Over the years I’ve had several people ask me what my 100 includes. It’s not that I mind answering, but it can get a little personal. It’s like asking a guy “When was the last time you cried?” or “How much time do you spend fixing your hair in the morning?” Sure, there’s an answer, but it could get awkward.
My solution to this is to just share enough, maybe a few of the highlights. The stuff that most people are trying to improve on anyways. Goals such as read more, limit social media, eat heathy, yada, yada, yada…just so they get the gist of it. Of course, most things on the 100 are like this. There may be just one or two points that speak directly to a glaring personality flaw that needs attention.
The funny thing is, most people we spend time with are aware our glaring personality faults anyways – they are glaring – so why not just tell them? Otherwise, they be like “How is…not being a whiner, NOT on his list???” Well, maybe it is, but no one wants you to get that vulnerable in small talk, it just makes people uncomfortable.
Like when you’re the only person at a yard sale and you slowly meander off without buying anything. Awkward! Or you run into someone you sort of know and after a bit of clunky conversation say goodbye, but then both of you start walking off in the same direction! Ugh, what now? Or opening a gift in front of someone… ”Oh, tube socks, how thoughtful.”
I always wanted to be someone, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
I have found that if a goal does get put on “The 100” it needs to be as detailed as possible. Otherwise, it’s just too easy to find a loophole.
Goal: Eat Healthy.
I remember reading somewhere, it’s better to eat a donut for breakfast than nothing at all. I live by those words! It’s the healthy alternative. Check
Goal: Workout.
I walked to the kitchen to get the donut. Check.
Goal: Limit Social Media.
It’s been 10 minutes! Check
If we’re not specific, we get really great at writing goals down, but not so great at actually changing anything. Being specific makes it easier to start. It makes it easier to be proactive because we know exactly what needs doing. Speaking in generalities doesn’t give our mind direction, specificity does.
This isn’t a new thought, a study done by the Journal of Consumer Research found that having fixed structures on Goal Completion had a positive impact. While one might think having greater flexibility would increase motivation to complete said goals, as it turns out, the more rigid and detailed we are with our goals the higher the chance we have of actually completing them.
If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.
This can be daunting, because when we’re specific and we know exactly what’s required of us, there’s no wriggling out of it. There’s no room for interpretation in “Do 10 push up every morning” or “Don’t eat twinkies after midnight.” Which brings up another important aspect of goal setting…focus on the process.
I may have the goal to do a planche push up, but it’s going to go nowhere if I don’t set up a plan-che to get there – see what I did there??? This is what I call a stretch goal, we have these in the sales world – my prior life – here’s your goal and here’s your goal if everything hits perfectly. Of course, it’s not the norm to hit these goals, but it keeps you pushing beyond what you typically might do in a day…and it’s fun to dream.
Planche Push Up Plan
Step 1…learn how to say planche
Step 2…
One note of caution, there have been many a day where my goals became more about completing a check list of things and not actually learning anything new. That doesn’t help anything. The process of completing each goal must be deliberate and thoughtful. There’s no sense in reading a chapter of the Bible each day if we’re not meditating on it. At that point, we’re just covering material, it’s not changing anything. Same goes for practicing Spanish or improving our relationships, when the focus is on the task at hand it needs our full attention.
That said, I do use my reminders app to check off my goals as they get done. It’s as addicting as my Instagram feed, each time I check off a task I get a little boost of serotonin to the brain, and it craves more. It becomes more desirable than the pain of starting that workout or working on that trilling R.
My last thought on goal setting…isn’t actually my thought.
If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
While this is fantastic advice for eating frogs, it also helps with our goals. Just start, the earlier the better. And get the uncomfortable stuff out of the way first…dread will increase with each hour that passes and we don’t get started which can lead to productivity paralyzation.
Motivation isn’t some magical substance that descends upon the few privileged. Action begets motivation. Just the act of starting can give us a boost of motivation to propel us forward to the next action…and so on and so on. It worked with this blog post, it can work for you, although, full disclosure, I’m not sure it would work with eating frogs.
The 100 